Home! Haha, there's nothing like peace and quiet after a long family reunion. Here's how to know your holiday season has gone PERFECTLY: 1.) Six days before christmas, you realize you're not done shopping. 2.) The next couple of days involve an emergency vet visit, SIDS scare from the cousin, and a diabetic seizure from the sister. 3.) You spend 5+ hours in a military hospital ER, waiting for a tube of burn cream, because your grandmother has still not understood that you genuinely are too stupid to boil water. 4.) Your mother, with her defective cleaning OCD, has you spend all day polishing the same two leather couches, only realizing when you have to go home that nothing got done...cue shrieking. 5.) You're sent to your house to clean the family heirloom serving set...150+ pieces, formerly thought lost, discovered in a dingy closet. The mission: hand wash half an inch of grime off the set, then hit with silver cleaner for tarnish, then scrub and polish again. This is a great theory...if your kitchen sink emitted more than a pathetic dribble of water. And, 6.) While you're determinedly, simultaneously swiffering the kitchen floor, and tending the spiced yams, and babysitting a handful of the THIRTEEN new babies my family has added since the start of the year...you hear your mother...shouting at your sister about not hanging the expensive leather coats on wire hangers. ( "No wire hangers, EVER!!" < anyone familiar with that quote? ) Yep...another successful Christmas with my gigantic German/Polish family...certifiable insanity and all. Here's hoping your holiday was just a tiny shade SANER. Now...cleaning for the New Years party at my grandmother's house. Voted!
