Feline Physics 101: Your seven pound cat, being neither solid, liquid, nor gas, can and will expand to occupy all but a six by six inch square of your queen sized bed. Feline Behaviors 101: The aforementioned cat, regarding you only as "food dispenser," really does expect you to sleep on the floor. Have a great Wednesday! Your votes are in!
Yesterday, I accidentally infuriated an obsessed Twilight fangirl. I told her, "I didn't hate Twilight, but I would have liked it a lot more if, "the greatest love story EVER," wasn't literally built on the sole foundation of, "you LITERALLY smell good enough to eat." I thought she was going to take a swing at me...but I stand by my totally valid point. Just a random thought for the day. Have a great day! Votes are in! (E-mail to come later today. Sorry...I was really busy yesterday, and didn't have time to type it out. I'll see if I can do it after I get my morning appointments out of the way.)
Since I've been blest enough to have such great friends, you've all been voting for me to host a couple of fashion shows. Here's a fashion tip that only applies to about five people in the country: If you know you have things to do in the morning, but will then be home to do some work before leaving again, it pays to remember: Those hair clips with the dangling chains and feathers are adorable to go out in. But, knowing in advance that you're coming home to a kitten that turns into a psychotic, feral monster when encountering feathers...make sure you take the clips out! Crazy kitten + feathers near your exposed neck = OUCH! Have a great day - your votes are in!
The time is 4:20 a.m, and I awake to the distinct pre-barf cat sound...just before Persephone blew chunks...all over my bed. Apparently, after she fished a cardboard tv dinner box, with remnants of spaghetti, and a styrofoam bowl with remnants of ravioli out of the garbage, ate most of it, mixed with water and cat crunchies...and than hurled everywhere. What happened next? Well, I stumbled bleary-eyed out of bed to wash my blankets. The cat? Sat by her food dish and cried, expecting to be fed again! Yep...just another day with the brattiest cat in CO. Have a fantastic day! Your votes are in!
Advice, from a Darwin Award Honorable mention: "If you find that you have set yourself on fire, "Oh, darn!" Is NOT the right response. Instead, scream, "HOLY SH*T!! I'M F***ING ON FIRE!!" That way, your wife will certainly know something is wrong." ( Quote from an old Darwin Awards book I unearthed. ) Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the chaos in your life, remember, it could always be worse! Have a great Saturday - your votes are in! ( E-mail to come a little later today. )
