by Kylene Hamulak

 

Tonight's Dancing With the Stars is also JUDGING with the Stars - CHER is in the ballroom to both perform and fill in for Len, and she kicks off the show with "Do You Believe." I could write any number of sarcastic quips about things things I do NOT believe about Cher's performance, but I'll let those jokes write themselves for you.

 

Here's this week's recap:

Corbin Bleu and Karina (Argentine Tango) - Corbin's had a crazy week as he splits his focus between dancing and the anti-bullying movie he's producing, but Karina doesn't go easy on the choreography. They've got great lines throughout the performance, and the - can we call then aerial stunts of Karina is in the air? - the aerial stunts are impressive. Carrie Ann thinks they brought their A-game, and notes that the lifts took her breath away. Bruno calls Corbin a "sly and masterful rascal" and despite being critical of a few passes, he says it was a fantastic performance. Cher loved it.

SCORES: 9 (Carrie Ann) - 9 (Cher) - 9 (Bruno) = 27

Leah Remini and Tony (Viennese Waltz) - Leah's really into the story behind their dance this week, as they "reenact" the first meeting between Cher and Sonny Bono to Cher's "I Got You Babe." Their waltz is lovely - Leah always does her best dancing when she's taking on a character she's comfortable with, and the smile on her face says she's enjoying every step of this dance. Bruno enjoyed the "side by side," though he warns her to be more careful in hold. Carrie Ann thought she got a little behind the music at times, but Cher was "enthralled" at the way they were able to interpret her experience. She calls it "great."

SCORES: 8 (C) - 9 (Cher) - 8 (B) = 25

Brant Daugherty and Peta (Fox Trot) - After returning to work at "Pretty Little Liars," Brant is feeling a little overwhelmed this week. I'm not a dancer, so I can't speak to the skill level of their Fox Trot, but the entertainment level is high. Which seems to be the norm for Brant and Peta. Cher noticed a couple of shared smiles that made the performance special for her, the kind of moment she looks for when choosing dancers for her tour. Carrie Ann likes to see that Brant is pushing himself to grow every week, though she reminds him to finish his lines and keep his legs straight. Bruno says every arrangement is done beautifully and commends him again for his content, but he agrees with Carrie Ann - Brant can be even better.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 9 (Cher) - 9 (B) = 27

Elizabeth Berkley and Val (Jazz) - After everything for their routine seemed to be set, Elizabeth told Val she wanted to change her song to "Bang Bang," one of her favorites. It put a lot of added stress on the couple during rehearsals, but the payoff came in the ballroom. Again, it was entertaining, though I'm not sure the jazz technique was executed. Cher thought it was great and some other things that we'll never know because they were not suitable for network tv. Bruno again points out that Elizabeth missed some timing, and Elizabeth gives him crazy eyes. Carrie Ann calls her "one dimensional" in her anger, which lost some impact.

SCORES: 8 (C) - 9 (Cher) - 8 (B) = 25

Bill Engvall and Emma (Disco) - When Snookie was eliminated, Bill believed it should've been him. Even so, now that he's made it to dance in front of Cher, he's excited about bringing disco to the ballroom. Ok, Bill may be on a different level than the other dancers still competing, but so is his performance value. Every week I say he impresses me, and this week is no different. How he managed to spin with Emma hanging from his neck - UPSIDE DOWN - is beyond me. Bruno says he was "just gagging of laughter" and says he had the spirit of Travolta. Carrie Ann calls it an amazing disco - IF there was no music. Cher is slightly speechless for a moment, ultimately calling it "brilliant" even though he missed "a whole bunch of steps."

SCORES: 8 (C) - 8 (Cher) - 8 (B) = 24

Jack Osborne and Cheryl (Tango) - Jack and Cheryl are super serious about not pissing Cher off with their performance, and that, coupled with Jack's revived competitive spirit, results in a great performance. Jack noted that his attitude has changed and helped him enjoy the dancing more, and it shows. The routine is full of content and well done. Carrie Ann calls his dancing "refined" and thoroughly loved the performance. Cher was NOT pissed off - she thought it was great and compares Jack to a "Tango dancing pimp!" Bruno describes the routine as "a proper, classic Tango"...and also as a dance between a pimp and a hooker.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 9 (Cher) - 9 (B) = 27

Amber Riley and Derek (Rhumba) - I hate to see a good dancer injured. Amber is spending the first part of rehearsals just watching and resting her injury, and the second part acting to bring her "girly" skills to tv. You know what else she brings? A fleet of sailors to the ballroom. Oh, and Derek. Who she quickly strips topless. And then they give an amazing performance, very strong and fierce. You know, Elizabeth was talking about empowering women, but Amber DANCED that message. Cher loved it - "You owned it." Bruno exclaims "I BOUGHT IT!" as he gives Amber credit for being in control of the dance the entire time. Carrie Ann felt like Amber was "sitting back just a hair" and has more in her.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 9 (Cher) - 10 (B) = 28

 

 

Dance Battle:

 

With their 29, Amber and Derek have the highest score of the night, guaranteeing them safety for the week. The other six couples, however, will go head to head with one other couple to battle for three additional judges' points.

 

Corbin and Karina pick Elizabeth and Val, who choose Cha Cha.

Cha Cha is a strength for Corbin and Karina, and their short routine is not only rich with content, but also performance. Elizabeth and Val show off some impressive moves as well, but I'd be giving the points to Corbin and Karina. Did the judges agree? Carrie Ann says they both nailed the routine, and Bruno agrees. Cher calls it "everything you'd hope it would be." Unanimously, however, the judges choose Corbin and Karina.

 

Brant and Peta pick Leah and Tony, who choose Rumba

Brant and Peta might be the most attractive couple in the ballroom, so it's always a pleasure to watch them dance together. In regards to skill? It wasn't my favorite dance from them, but they're pretty evenly matched with Leah and Tony. Bruno loves Brant's "Latin lover" moves, as well as Leah's ability to "turn it on." Carrie Ann thinks Leah nailed the "dance of love", but she also thinks Brant did great as the leading man. Cher was enthralled with both of them, again, and she felt the passion from all four of them. This time, Carrie Ann and Cher cast votes for Leah and Tony, while Bruno picks Brant and Peta - Leah and Tony win the extra three points.

 

Jack and Cheryl vs Bill and Emma, dancing Disco

Jack and Cheryl's disco is a party in the ballroom. They try some cute tricks, but there are some issues with footwork that are obviously the result of Jack not quite having a handle on the choreography. Bill and Emma are on their second disco routine of the night, and they're apparently at the same party as Jack because it's a similar routine - some tricks, some missed footwork, but a LOT of enthusiasm. Carrie Ann was surprised by Jack's disco moves, as was Cher, while Bruno describes it as disco changed into dirty dancing! Who won the round? All three choose Jack and Cheryl to win the three points, but the real winners in this segment? Bill and Emma, who find out they are SAFE by reading Tom's teleprompter! Honestly, the girlish reaction from Bill is the best of the season.

 

 

Elimination Recap:

 

With Amber and Derek and Bill and Emma already safe, Elizabeth and Val are the next to hear their names. Corbin and Karina quickly follow, and Leah and Tony, sweating it out, are safe as well.

 

Brant and Peta and Jack and Cheryl are the last two couples in jeopardy. While not necessarily the bottom two couples, Brant and Peta are revealed to have the lowest combined score and are eliminated.

 

I'll be sad to see beautiful Brant leave the ballroom, but the remaining couples all bring something special to the dance floor as well. Whether it's passion or technique, personality or heart, every couple in the competition is one I'm enjoying.

 

What do you think about tonight's results? Are your favorites still in the competition? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Catch Dancing With the Stars every Monday at 8/7c on ABC!

 

(Image Courtesy of ABC)