by Kylene Hamulak

 

It's déjà vu on Dance Moms - Kelly and her girls have left ALDC again, leaving two question marks on the team and one very big question mark on the Dance Moms couch.

 

It's no surprise when pyramid begins with Paige and Brooke ranked lowest, but they're joined by Asia, who, despite the tricks she pulls on stage, couldn't put her pants on correctly. Nia's on the bottom row, too, and Holly suggests that Abby should spend more time on training Nia to be "excellent" instead of just "fine."

 

Mackenzie is the first girl in the second row, right next to Maddie, even though Maddie ultimately did an extra routine. Abby wasn't impressed that she had to volunteer Maddie, instead of Maddie taking advantage of the opportunity on her own. Chloe is called the "MVP of the Show," but she's still second on the pyramid - Kendall gets the top spot, after earning the cover of Dance Track Magazine.

 

This week's competition will pit them against "The Wicked Witch" - aka, Candy Apple Cathy. All the girls will be part of the group routine, "Open Waters," and Abby announces there will be a trio of Kendall, Chloe, and Nia to compete against Cathy's trio.

 

Speaking of, over in Ohio, Cathy has - surprise! - a new team. Her all-boys approach has morphed into four girls and one boy, all specially picked to beat Abby. Lucas, Cathy tells us, is super flexible, AND, more importantly, Cathy is very good friends with his mom. On Facebook. Soooo...that counts for everything. Roadkill Hadley is there too - her mom is just like Cathy. What does that mean, you ask? According to Cathy: fashionable, bubbly, soulmates. According to me: bottle blonde and CRAZY APPLES. Nicaya is back to, and you know what that means - Black Patsy has Cathy's back when Jill gets in her face.

 

With the "Four Seasons" group dance Anthony has choreographed, Cathy predicts they will "PULVERISE" Abby Lee Dance. We'll see about that.

 

The ALDC group dance will use props that look like the shore, so Abby is being very careful to practice with each of the dancers. Holly's request for Abby to give Nia a little more attention is backfiring this week, as Abby is under extra pressure. "What have I done to poor Nia," Holly says, shaking her head.

 

As the group rehearses, Christi notes that it feels incomplete without Paige and Brooke, and Abby notices it as well - she brings Peyton in to the group number, hoping she'll be the leader of the group.

 

"Oh yay," says Christi. "With Peyton, that only means one thing's coming...and that's Leslie. Yippee for me!" However, after a pause to think about going up against Cathy, Christi thinks it might be good to have Leslie in the ALDC corner. "You know, someone who's seen a brawl or five before."

 

The only good thing about Candy Apple Crazy episodes are conversations with Vivi. This week, Cathy has brought her mom along with Vivi out for lunch to discuss the competition. And by discuss...well, I really mean Cathy and Granny Apple talk about getting revenge and Vivi eats. "She's an eater," Granny Apple says, "she likes food."

 

Rehearsing the Candy Apple trio, Anthony is correcting the dancers, as he usually does. Cathy, for her part, is interrupting him...as she usually does. He removed a bit of choreography that one of the girls couldn't do, which upsets Cathy. They're fighting again, with Anthony threatening to form his own team, taking half of hers with him.

 

The day of the competition, Abby Lee is predicting that their routines are "going to knock Cathy right off that broomstick." That may be true, but first she's got Leslie to contend with. In the past, Peyton has been criticized for having a smart mouth, and when she brings out the sass while the group is getting ready, Abby doesn't appreciate it.

 

Oh, and a sidenote: Cathy didn't only bring her mom, but she brought Anthony's mom too. And Anthony's mom LITERALLY looks exactly like the mom version of Anthony.

 

The first showdown of the competition takes place between Kristie and Hadley's mom, Yvette, who allegedly threatened Asia at a previous competition. Abby lets a few words exchange before escorting Kristie away. The time will come, Kristie. The time will come.

 

The "Spies Like Us" trio goes first, and Abby Lee Dance is not impressed. "Cathy's trio is a mess," says Abby. "I'm not sure if the whole thing was improv'd." The "Castaways" trio gets a predictably better reception from Abby, who calls it a "nice, solid performance." She says Nia is on the right path.

 

Group performances begin with the Candy Apple's "Four Seasons," and Cathy thinks they did an amazing job leaving Abby's "little girls probably shaking in their jazz shoes." Ummmm...not exactly, Cathy. They take the stage for "Open Waters" and own it.

 

When the awards begin with the trio, starting with the Top 10, you know right away that it's not a Top 3 finish. Candy Apples takes 7^th Place, and Abby Lee's trio comes in at 5^th Place. "The trio might not have won the entire competition, but they beat Candy Apples, so that's all right in my book!" Christi notes.

 

But what about the groups? Candy Apples come in 3^rd Place, while ALDC take 1^st Place. Are our Dance Moms and their leader happy? Uhhh, yeah. Yeah, I'd say they're pretty pleased. Well, except for Christi and Leslie, who are fighting over whether or not the seat Leslie's butt is in belongs to Kelly or not.

 

Of course, what's a party without some crashers? Candy Apple Crashers invade the ALDC dressing area, where Cathy introduces Anthony's mom. There's some yelling back and forth about what a gentleman Anthony is, and then there's Christi reminding us all that it's JUST DANCE! Riiiight...because CHRISTI is always the voice of reason.

 

It's just dance, guys. And we'll fight about it some more next week.

 

Catch Dance Moms every Tuesday at 9/8c on Lifetime!

 

(Image Courtesy of Lifetime)

 

Follow Kylene on Twitter at @keepingupwithky!