by Gina Scarpa

 

Last week on The Bachelorette, Ben continued to rub the guys the wrong way when he stole Desiree away for one-on-one time despite having a rose. They seem convinced that he's here for the wrong reasons and can't be trusted, but he's adamant that he's here to see if Des can be a good wife and stepmother to his young son. Viewers seem split on what to make of Ben so he talked to RealityWanted and reporters in a press conference call following last week's episode, opening up about his experience thus far, his feelings for Desiree, and the men that are hoping to see him leave.

 

Q. Gina, RealityWanted: I was wondering what you thought about the comment last week that you're a politician, always searching for the right answer or saying what people want to hear, or maybe that you couldn't be trusted. What did you think about that assessment of your personality?

A. Ben: You know, I think that's an incorrect assessment of me. I say what I mean, I'm not trying to say the exact right thing or say something that I think somebody's going to want to hear, or do something I think somebody's exactly going to want me to do. As you saw, I did something that unfortunately hurt somebody's feelings and I felt very bad about that but it's something in the moment I felt was the right thing for me to do at the time, so I do not believe the assessment of me being a politician is actually a correct one at all.

 

Q. Gina, RealityWanted: Obviously, Des is The Bachelorette because she's looking for love and she wants to find a husband but was there any part of you that was worried that maybe she wasn't ready to be a mother or stepmother right away to someone or did you have a feeling that she would be the kind of person that would welcome a child into her life?

A. Ben: That's a good question. The main reason I brought my son was to see how Des reacted once she knew that I was a father and she saw my son in person. It actually had to go two ways. One, she's going to love the fact that I'm a father and that I'm so proud of my son, or it's going to show me that she is not ready to jump into that type of relationship where she has to step in and become a mother figure to somebody. So, that's one of the main reasons I brought my son, to see if she's ready for that. She was totally okay and it made me extremely happy. I think that's one of the reasons our relationship began to grow so fast.

 

Q. We've seen in the previews that you and Des seem to go off for a little impromptu one on one time. What can you tell us about that? How did you pull that off?

A. Ben: I think that's something you're going to have to watch and see. It's something that's pretty startling and we both truly enjoyed it. I think that's something you're going to have to watch and see.

 

Q. What can you tell us a little bit about Michael G.? He seems to really have it out for you.

A. Ben: Well Michael is wearing his heart on his sleeve. He's a great guy and what happened between us was unfortunate timing and you saw that when he had an issue with what happened, he confronted me. He's not afraid to confront somebody when he has any type of issues, so unfortunately that's what happened between us and I think you're going to see that some things like this may continue to happen.

 

Q. After you had brought your son out, you caught some criticism from the other guys in the house. So, have you gotten any heat from outside parties as well?

A. Ben: You know, everybody's going to have their own opinion on why they believe I brought my son. I know exactly why I brought him and, as I said before, it was a big risk because it could have gone two ways. It never once occurred to me what is everybody else going to think. Of course I conferred with my son's mother before any of this happened and she was okay with everything that happened on the show. In the end, it really didn't matter to me what everybody else thought. It just mattered how this was going to affect me and Des.

 

Q. You've started to be portrayed as kind of like the villain on this season. Do you feel like unfairly targeted at all?

A. Ben: You know, that's for each and every person to decide on their own, but I think I did come in with the idea that I'm here to find out if Desiree is the woman that I'm going to marry. That approach may not have been the way that some of the other guys had initially come in and I focused all my attention on trying to grow the relationship that Des and I have. Some of the guys saw that and we saw some of their reactions.

 

Q. You told Des that you had your son, Brody, with a friend which is kind of an unusual decision to make in your early twenties. Would you mind talking about that a little bit?

A. Ben: I think that's one of the statements that I made on the show that has probably had the most, I guess, controversy about it. How it came off is not exactly how it was meant to be. My son's mother was actually my college girlfriend and we had Brody and we tried to make things work and in the end, we really just sat down and talked and said, "What's best for our situation? We don't want to get married just to get married because we have a kid. We want to get married because we're in love." In the end, we decided that that's not where we were in our lives. So we thought it was better for Brody to have two parents who are very happy, who aren't together, than to have two parents that are together and are very unhappy. It's really just been the best situation Brody can ask for with what we're going through. Me and Stevie, which is my son's mother, we turned into best friends and we've kept a very good relationship. He is very happy, he knows he's very loved. I don't know if you've ever seen a happier kid. It's not the ideal situation, but it's definitely working out great, so she is really one of my best friends and that's what that comment meant was that even though we decided not to be together, we will remain best friends.

Q. At the cocktail reception last week, there was a group of guys which included Brandon, Mikey and Michael G. that were talking amongst themselves about how you brought up the bar you owned and mentioned something about how previous bachelors owned a bar and it ended up turning it into five bars after appearing on the show. They suggested you talked a lot more about your company than about your son. I just want to get your response to that. Did you realize you were giving off that impression?

A. Ben: That comment actually surprised me, or that conversation. I mean, we all knew what everybody did. We all knew what everybody's business were. And they knew what mine was and sometimes I wonder if the fact of being a business owner makes you have a target on your back that are you doing this for the wrong reasons. I talked about my son all the time, but I talked about it with my group of friends and there were some people I didn't talk to more than others and some of those people I didn't talk to too much may have been in that group making that conversation, but I talked about my son all the time. I missed him a lot, from day one I missed him. He's everything, so that comment did catch me a little off guard, but some people may decide to make judgments without really trying to know somebody. That conversation doesn't really bother me because I knew the reason I was there and I was there for Des and they knew that.

 

Q. The other thing I wanted to ask is you kind of had this whole thing with Des about, oh, it's out secret, I'm the first one who knows how good of a kisser you are, blah, blah, blah, but apparently you're not which I would imagine you also saw on the episode.

A. Ben: Sure. I mean, there's one thing about me. I didn't ask a lot of questions about how the other guys dates went. You know, it's just not something that I really wanted to hear, you know, how a date would go with somebody that I like. So, question you know, had Bill tried to kiss her? Nothing was more that the guys don't understand was that I know you're a good kisser. Basically saying that nobody knows about that, that's kind of our secret. I am pretty private with my relationships. Even though we're on a TV show that the nation is going to see, you don't necessarily want the guys that are still around here in that moment knowing anything about what you're doing with her, so you know I enjoyed in a setting that's so public having things that are private between us and it's got some romance to it and it has excitement to it.

 

Q. Hi Ben. It's great to speak to you today. I wanted to ask you, do you think that any of the tension with guys, do you think that any of it was caused by the fact that you got the first rose on the first night? Was there a bit of jealousy there do you think?

A. Ben: I've had that question asked of me by friends and family and that's something I don't know because I don't know exactly why they're feeling the way they're feeling. It was unfortunate the timing when I walked in on Michael and Des' conversation. That's something that each guy on the show is going to have to answer for himself because I don't know. I still don't know the reasons they say or do the things they do but from what I hear it does. Getting the first roses is not always the best thing, but it was for me. It was more about how my relationship with Des was growing and that's just more confirmation that, you know, hey, this is where I really need to be right now. This is something that I really need to be pursuing so in my opinion, it didn't bother me either way. It was a great step for me and Des on our journey.

 

Q. When all this drama was happening, were you at all worried that it would get back to Des and she would see you differently. Was that something you were kind of thinking about, I'm going to have to talk to her about this?

A. Ben: You know, not really. That didn't really ever cross my mind. I don't focus on the negative things so I wasn't going to sit there and let what happened between me and Michael affect what's happening between me and Des. So, that really wasn't a worry on my mind.

 

Q. So at this point with what we've seen so far, the audience doesn't really know what to make of you. I mean, you bring your son and he's adorable, but as you said people have different opinions about it and some could see it as manipulative, and while seem genuine in your motivations and you say you're there for the right reasons, your confidence and the way you interrupted the other night could be perceived as smug and arrogant. So, you kind of made it clear that you're not really concerned with what the other guys think of you in the house, but is it important to you how the audience perceives you and what they think your character is?

A. Ben: When I was doing the things that I was doing, it's because I was doing for me and Des. It was not with the intentions of how was anybody else going to perceive this. So, that may have come back to bite me with some of the guys in the house, but this is a show to find love, a show to see if this person that you're here with is the one that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. And that's what I was there to do and I had my way of going about it and some guys had other ways and I guess that's all I have to say to that question.

 

Q. As the season goes on and we see more, do you think that you're going to kind of still be on the fence when it comes to the audience or do you think that one way or the other your personality will emerge a little more?

A. Ben: I think you're just going to have to watch just like me and see how everything goes. Everybody is going to form their own opinion and they're going to pick different reasons to form their own opinion, but it's going to be a great season and I guess everybody is going to have to figure that out for themselves.

 

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)

 

Follow Gina @ginascarpa