by Gina Scarpa

Believe me, I'd love to write an entire dissertation on why in the world Chris was complaining about not getting a date card yet WHEN ONLY ONE DATE CARD HAD ARRIVED this week on The Bachelorette. However, I have bigger fish to fry. I've also chosen to ignore the horribly rapped, danced, and acted music video that took place, mostly because I'd like to forget I ever saw it. Instead, I turn my attention to the main theme of this episode: the sob story.

I get it, you only have a limited amount of time to connect with The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. In just a few minutes, you need to be attractive, genuine, confident, witty, emotional - it's a lot of pressure! I just don't understand why people feel the need to manipulate the other person by breaking out the saddest story they can think of. There's usually a time and a place for that, and a first date or three minutes on a group date is not it. Imagine if you dumped all of you baggage on some poor unsuspecting soul during a first date at Outback Steakhouse. You'd see them signaling for the check and driving off into the sunset, but not on The Bachelorette! Here's a look at last night's tearjerkers.

Brooks
After getting first one on one date card, Brooks and Des enjoyed their day together visiting the Hollywood sign, followed by a candlelit meal on a bridge. Des makes the mistake of asking him about the effects of his parents' divorce and he unleashes. With tears in his eyes, he relays the story of not seeing his dad for many years, then finally confronting him about abandoning their family. What choice did she have except to put that magnetized rose on his shirt and turn that frown upside down? Besides, if she didn't, Andy Grammer would've playing a show for no one.

Brandon
For some unbeknownst reason, Brandon rocked a Speedo in the Soulja Boy rap video on the group date. Okay, so he's comfortable with himself and can be silly. That sounds like an ideal mate, right? Well, that's not enough for him so he pulls Des aside later in the day to share the story of his absent father and drug-addicted mother. He moved around a lot, basically raised his siblings, and is ready for a family of his own. The question is: Is Des ready for that hometown date?

Bryden
Bryden strikes me as a very sincere, stand up guy. I want to believe he's there for the right reasons and could be a good match for Desiree. When he shared his story about walking away from a very serious car accident, during the second one on one date of the episode, I was as amazed as she was. Thennnn he pulled out the pictures of the wreck as well as of himself in the hospital. What a strange thing to carry around and whip out on a first date, don't you think? Try it sometime and see how it lands. Actually, forget I said that. It only works on tv, and Bryden most definitely got the rose.

Michael
Perhaps word started to spread that the thing to do this week was tell Des the traumatic event that shaped your life. Michael was one of the last to grab her ear, at the cocktail party, and told her about the time he was rushed to the hospital, then diagnosed with diabetes. This pushed me over the edge of Sob Story Mountain. Diabetes can be very serious, but are you going to tell me that this somehow makes you a good potential partner, husband, or father? What does this have to do with anything? He sure as heck got a rose though!

Meanwhile, cutie Robert was eliminated at the end of the night for seemingly no good reason. Perhaps if he had whipped out a story of a family torn apart, a horrific accident, and potentially debilitating disease, he would still be in the running. If that's what it takes to land this girl as a wife, perhaps he's better off.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Follow Gina @ginascarpa