By: Ivette Johnson
We head over to LA for the first semi-finals episode of Last Comic Standing, where we will narrow the field (tonight) from 16 hopefuls to just 5. Next week we'll go through the same thing and have a total of 10 finalists by the end of this semi-finals round.

We've got Tom Arnold accompanying our regular judges, and Tom Arnold probably knows as much about stand up comedy as I do, which is pretty much nothing.


Anyway, I'm thinking it took me forever to learn the dancers' names in So You Think You Can't Dance so I can't imagine how long it's going to take me to learn these guys' names. So I apologize ahead of time if I get them strange nicknames that might not please everybody in the audience. Hopefully when it's down to 10 finalists I'll do a lot better with their names.

Also, I'm looking forward to a time in which they're able to get slightly longer sets because I think it's just terrible that they only get a chance to basically build up to one joke at this stage in the competition.
Here's the breakdown of where the semi-finalists are from in case you're curious. Also it's split into 22 males and 10 females and a total of 23 from the US (26 from North America).

� 6 from NY
� 6 from LA
� 5 from Tempe
� 3 from San Antonio
� 3 from Minneapolis
� 3 from Montreal
� 2 from London
� 4 from Sydney

Bill Bellamy makes some commentary about child proofing which I have to totally agree with. How the hell did they childproof us when we were little? We LEARNED the hard way, staying away from dangerous stuff after learning the first time around it wasn't cool to touch something hot! I think kids today (including mine) are missing a little bit of that "common sense childproofing". I vote to get rid of the entire childproofing industry I think it's just there to make a whole bunch of money from us gullible parents.

First up, Ohio's John Caparulo who was the Audience Favorite from Tempe, which has been criticized for not necessarily being the capital of funny - he's making me scratch my head because he's scratching it so much. He should be talking about dandruff shampoo perhaps instead of fast food, which is making me hungry by the way. His voice makes his jokes funnier than they normally would be otherwise, but it's still moderately funny (I feel like the TBS ads).

Then it's time for Debra DiGiovanni from Canada - More self-deprecating fat jokes, but the one about the dumb girls is good. She's the crazy ex-girlfriend, I think everyone is a crazy ex-girlfriend at some point or another! That was good.

Next, Tommy Johnagin - He makes a joke about his dad having guns that can shoot from 300 yards away, it was OK but nothing special.

Dante - Stay at home dad of a 3 year old which makes him so lovable, I want him to make it just so that he'll get that puppy for his daughter. Makes a great Jack Nicholson impression, followed by an even better Gilbert Godfrey one. This is great but I wonder how many legs it has, I mean at some point it's going to get old to keep getting impressions. They're good though, so for now, I'm a happy camper. Go Dante!

Joe DeVito (related to Danny?) - People think he's the Verizon guy. Sex with two women at the same time. His jokes are completely unrelated but that disconnect makes it slightly cool.

Gina Yashere (from England) - Great joke about her Nigerian mom educating her about the non existence of Santa. No way she was going to let a white man in a red suit take credit for her hard work. Another funny one about a tooth growing a whole other person waiting for the Tooth Fairy to show up.

After the break it's time for Australia's Laurence Mooney. He kids about the lack of female self-confidence and the huge self-confidence of men which was pretty good. Pantyhose are scary and confusing! They make your butt look like a burglar's face, I liked the jokes they felt new and different.

Sara Colona from LA - I like her tempo, she's funny. I love those comedians that talk about their joke like it's the most serious thing ever. She talks about childproofing her house so she could baby sit. She makes fun of Hasselhof's little alcohol problem. It got a little bit racy with her talking about not finding her vibrator which was really funny and I applaud her guts! I'll be mad if she doesn't make it through.

Dwayne Kennedy is next. He's been in the business for 20 years which will make me feel really bad if he doesn't make it through. He makes some joke about Mexicans working harder than everybody which was really funny. Love the comment about still having time for a soccer game. But I still found him kinda odd, it's like his JOKES are good, but HE isn't. It's almost like he should be a joke writer for someone else but not actually do the stand up himself, but I'm no expert!

Spencer Brown from England, 3 years in the biz. His style is a little bit more about physical comedy style, which always reminds me of Hugh Grant. He makes one good joke about Americans, but the second joke was kind of lost on me.

Tracey Ashley from Miami, who's been in the biz 8 years. Her family thinks she's moving to Minnesota because she's got a white boyfriend, which is true. The segue about his boyfriend talking about hippopotamus wasn't that great, but the punch line about "Fast Cash/No Receipt" when she sees a hippo was a really good ending, she just kind of built up to it slowly I guess. Not sure if she'll make it though

Ralph Harris. He imitates his old grandpa which is presumably very funny because the audience is really digging it. Unfortunately I can't really understand a lot of what he's saying so I just have to go by his facial expressions and the tone of his voice which isn't the whole package but is good I guess.

From Burbank we get Sabrina Mathews who I can't tell whether it's a man or a woman but she immediately jumps into lesbian jokes which clarifies the issue for me, sorry if I offended anyone I didn't mean to! She says all lesbian stereotypes apply to her. It was OK but I prefer the non-self-deprecating line of comedy. Then she goes of to say no rich person is going to rear end her because she looks like she's uninsured (and looks like a 16 year old boy so see I'm not the only one who thinks that).

From Australia we also get Adam Vincent. He does a boomerang love thing which is a little bizarre. He's a yeller but people like it. Acting like he had a nightmare to get a girl to hug him which was kind of weird. Even Bill seems to think he's crazy. He doesn't know why people didn't "love" him back, apparently everyone looked at him weird which I guess I did too!

From NYC we get Lori Chase - 10 years living in NYC, mugged a tourist. Moved from Ohio/Kentucky with husband so they probably are related. Cast in Cats on Broadway. Ex husband was gay proposed in cat outfit and peed in his leg to mark his territory. He stole her make up. Pretty funny, but somehow wasn't getting the laughs she deserved. She doesn't even know if the audience laughed!

Doug Benson is last, he was cut from last year's semi finals. Disneyland is happiest place on earth but he wants to make it a miserable experience. He flipped off the camera (in Disneyland not in real life!), I really like it. The other tourists on the ride said he ruined it for entire log! Then he fakes Swedish accent that sounded Japanese which was pretty funny. He's somewhere at the top of my list after tonight.

So the first 5 to make it into the Top 10 are:
1) Audience Favorite: Dante
2) Gina Yashere (British lady)
3) Ralph Harris (grandpa imitator), only 2 spots left...
4) Debra DiGiovanni - Is there at tiara? No Debra, that's another show called Miss Universe, and you got to fall on your ass to have a chance of making it into that one (right).
5) Doug Benson makes it through this time!!! He runs around the stage like a hyperactive dog and says a weight has been lifted and another one added which is what I feel like every time I eat...

I felt sad for Sarah Colona not making it forward, I really wanted her to. Do you have to be fat to make it as a female?? Hmmm. I guess we'll see next week. But this British guy Spencer Brown going back to England to a hero's welcome because British love losers/failure explains sooo much...not really. I do think that the guys that made it through are pretty deserving, but I felt so bad for those people that didn't make it!

That's it for now, let's see how makes it to the Top 10 next Wednesday night! Narrowing down the search for who is the "funniest comic in the world"...So far my favorites are Dug and Dante. I really want Dante to be able to get a puppy for his daughter.

last comic standing