by Kylene Hamulak

 

American Idol's last stop on the audition tour is Oklahoma City, in Carrie Underwood's home state. This is our (well, their) last chance to find a superstar before Hollywood breaks them.

 

"I'm just gonna clap it, and something awesome's gonna happen," says Karl Skinner, 26. We sure hope so, Karl. Before we get into the Hits, Misses, and Highlights, I'll tell ya about Karl.

 

He's a local yokel, selected as part of the small town bus tour. He's got a sweet, lovable personality, and while his voice isn't terrible, it's certainly not great. The judges send him to Hollywood anyway, and we're all still left waiting for something awesome to happen.

 

So without further ado...the last Hits, Misses, and Highlights before Hollywood!

 

HITS:

 

Nate Tao, 24

The child of deaf parents, Nate is an American Sign Language teacher. He says when he first started to sing, his parents were "not so receptive." I don't want to be mean, but like...could that have something to do with the fact that they're DEAF? Turns out, they're just worried that maybe he sucks and they don't know it. That's kind of refreshing, isn't it? Considering how many parents aren't deaf but actually CAN'T hear how much their kid sucks? Nate doesn't suck, and the judges really enjoyed it. He's going to Hollywood.

 

Kayden Stephenson, 16

If you don't have a tissue handy, I hope you're wearing sleeves while you watch Kayden's audition. He's our Cystic Fibrosis contestant, and even though I typically loathe the tragic backstories (despite the fact that I get sucked into them every time), the way Kayden talks about his illness, his future (he's not expected to live beyond 35), and, especially, his life, is truly inspirational. I think he sang, but I don't even care. I'd send him to Hollywood because I'm a sucker, and so are the judges. And when he tells us, "I feel like the I'm the luckiest person in the world," it makes me feel like crap for complaining about anything today.

 

 

MISSES:

 

Anastacia Freeman, 25

Anastacia gets the honor of being tonight's biggest miss. Her voice is not good, but I bet when she's giving concerts in her car, she's convinced she actually DOES sound like Toni Braxton. The judges have to put on their straight faces as they let her continue ("Are y'all laughing at me?" Anastacia asks innocently. The judges respond as if they'd NEVER DO SUCH A THING...which they are doing right now) and she just continues caterwauling.  Now, to be fair, you can't really blame her for auditioning even though she's terrible. God told her to. While she was writing in her journal. And when God tells you to do something? You damn well better do it. Until the Idol judges tell you NOT to do that thing. Then you stop.

 

HIGHLIGHTS:

 

Schtick on a Stick: Do not adjust your televisions - yes, a dog is speaking to you. And a bowtie wearing puppet dog, at that. Halie Hilburn, 27, a ventriloquist since age 9, is sharing her audition with Oscar (17, though it's unclear if those are dog years or puppet years). Or maybe it's the other way around. After being upstaged by her yodeling puppet, Halie gets a chance to sing solo, and Keith tells her, "I think Oscar's holding you back." Three judges give her a yes, so she's going to Hollywood despite Randy's no. Is it weird that it made me a little sad to see homeless Oscar panhandling at the end of the segment?

 

The Miss That Was a Hit: Well, it took three weeks, but it finally happened - we've got a "Miss" that actually made it to Hollywood! You've all heard the flack Beyonce got for lip syncing at the Inauguration, right? Oh, how I wish Zoanette Johnson, 19, had done us the same courtesy. I'll be shocked if she doesn't stir things up in Hollywood. Favorite line: "You are a whole party all by yourself!" Girlfriend might actually have a voice, but I'm totally distracted by her special brand of CRAZY.

 

Best Use of a Music Track: Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lady," hands down. Why? Because when Steven Tyler shows up in drag to audition as "Pepper," you've gotta see it to believe it.

 

They obviously saved the best for last.

 

And that's a wrap! What are your Hollywood predictions? How many of the golden tickets can you remember? Study up with Reality Wanted recaps for my favorite part of the audition process - the Hell Week Hollywood Round!

 

Catch American Idol every Wednesday and Thursday at 8/7C on Fox!

 

(Images courtesy of Fox)

 

Follow Kylene on Twitter @keepingupwithky!