by Kylene Hamulak

 

It's the final week of results on Dancing With the Stars - next week will be all about bestowing that mirror ball trophy upon a champion, not about the other two couples that will take their last dance. These results have even more intrigue than usual, however, as we learn not only the fates of our four couples but also Katherine, who had a dramatic second dance marred by a back injury.

 

Beginning the night, William and Cheryl are called to the floor to present an encore performance of their samba. Looks like Len can't resist watching William shake his bum a little more!

 

The first round of results features Katherine and Mark, and watching their first dance get such incredible scores makes what comes second even more sad. As we watch the final moments of their routine that include Katherine's injury, Bruno says it best: "Oh what a SHAME...." She continues to make me feel absolutely terrible for her as she admits she feels that this may be her last week and continues to apologize for Mark.

 

Just as I'm about to plan some sort of benefit in her honor, Tom reveals the first results of the night: Katherine and Mark are headed to the finals! The two jump around the stage in excitement, and, as Tom notes, her back seems totally fine.

 

Next up: The Pros weigh in on the strengths and weaknesses of the celebrities. The pros all have nice things to say about each other's partners, so that's boring. Everyone is talented, everyone is amazing, moving on...

 

Then it's time for the results of the Macy's Design A Dance - apparently, we've picked a salsa to Beyonce's "End of Time" starring...are you ready?...Tristan and Chelsie!! Well done, fans! Keep finding ways to bring Tristan back to the dance floor!

Because there are so few results to deliver, we're chock full of special guests tonight, starting with Alanis Morisette performing her new single, "Guardian."

 

Continuing with the "ladies first" mentality, Maria and Derek are up next for results. Revisiting her nearly perfect night, all the squealing and screaming makes me think Derek better take cover if this pair makes it to the finals. Unfortunately for them, Tom can't send them to safety yet - they're our first pair in jeopardy. There is a lot of booing in the ballroom, but, let's be honest - SOMEONE is going to be in jeopardy, and no matter who it is at this point, we're going to have to boo. It's practically mandatory.

 

Before the next segment - a special Rock of Ages routine starring Mary J. Blige, Diego Boneta, and Dancing's prodigal daughter Julianne Hough - Tom announces that next season will feature an all-star cast to include fan favorites, champions, and some controversial contestants. Well...that sounds pretty interesting! But back to Rock of Ages - I'm not gonna lie, I totally want to see this and rock out in the movie theater. Big hair and all. And probably (bad) singing in a public place, but that's not out of the ordinary.

 

Carrie Underwood joins the show before we get our final results, performing "Good Girl". She's always delightful, but this evening is way too tense to really enjoy it.

 

As we recap William and Donald's evening, we see the only person in America (or Cuba, for that matter) who could nap through William's performance: his son. Oh, and by the way? Donald still wants to make it to the finals. "What kind of question is that?!" The two couples soon learn that it's William and Cheryl who will be competing in the finals, while Donald and Peta have joined Maria and Derek in jeopardy - and only one pair will make it out.

 

When the final results of the night are announced, we learn that the lowest combined total belonged to....

 

Maria and Derek.

 

Donald and Peta join William and Cheryl and Katherine and Mark in the finale next week.

 

Derek calls Maria "a champion at life", while Maria thanks Derek and pretty much everyone else in the world for getting her this far. Let's face it - no matter who got eliminated, it was going to be a tough night, but for me? This is exactly the finale I hoped for.

 

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)