by Mike Bandy

 

The season finale (oh, thank god!) of RHONYC started with LuAnn in the studio with her producer, who had a surprise for her. He left the room and came back with the amazing Natalie Cole! I think it was the first time we'd ever seen LuAnn starstruck. The women chatted, and LuAnn mentioned that she was having an anniversary party for her and Jacques, and she invited Ms. Cole to the party. Natalie Cole not only said she would attend, but that she would sing a duet with LuAnn there! LuAnn was over the moon, and so was I! I'm a big Cole fan, and I thought this was awesome.

 

Unfortunately, what followed was the usual bag of bull defecation this show is famous for. Ramona had Alex and Simon, and Sonja and Brian over to dinner, and the conversation mostly centered around Ramona still getting her period and wanting to have another baby. She's FIFTY-FOUR! Never mind that by the time the kid graduated high school, she'd be collecting Social Security, but what about the possible birth defects from giving birth at that age! Not cool, Ramona.

 

While at the dinner, Alex got a call from LuAnn, inviting her to the anniversary party, and Alex graciously accepted. LuAnn said that the girls have seen her go through a divorce, and now she wants them to see her really happy. I think she just wants to rub her French boyfriend in everyone's faces, personally.

 

Alex did an editorial photo shoot, which Simon crashed and then complained about time during the whole thing. Alex revealed that she'd walked in seven shows in NY Fashion Week...who knew?? That's pretty awesome for someone who landed at #3 on US Magazine's Worst Dressed of 2010 list. But I mean, come on...who didn't see that one coming.

 

Sonja and Cindy had their inevitable fight about the conference call in the kitchen. It was the only time I've ever seen Cindy really emote, and even then, it was only to tell Sonja that she was done with her. Whatever, Cindy. I'm done with you! Sonja had every right to be upset - you were rude, disrespectful, and awful. Anybody agree?

 

And now, the REAL bread and butter of the finale - Ramona thinks she's pregnant, and Sonja is jumping for joy. Okay...when this appeared on my screen, I said to myself, "OMG, Ramona, you're 54! If you're late, it's probably menopause kicking in!" And then DAMN JILL ZARIN said the same thing later on in the episode! Does this mean I'm starting to think like Jill? Oh god, someone hit me over the head with something blunt, quick!

 

We spent the remainder of this yawn-fest of an episode on a yacht with all the girls for the big anniversary party. I'll spare you all the details - here's a snapshot: Ramona told Mario that she might be preggers, and he said that that was impossible (duh). Natalie Cole sounds AWESOME and looks AWESOME, and I don't understand WHY she'd want to be associated with LuAnn. The duet went over pretty well if you blocked LuAnn's voice out of it completely. Sonja and Ramona cowered in the bathroom with a pregnancy test for most of the night and tried to keep it a secret from everybody, and Jill had to keep knocking at the door because she can't mind her own business.

 

At the end, the updates on the women were as follows:

 

Jill learned that everybody can get a second chance (and I learned that I still hate her). Alex learned to find her voice, and she doesn't care if nobody else wants to hear it. Good for you, Alex! Cindy had a rough time with this whole experience, but she's raising her kids and working. Ho hum. Kelly is proud of who she is, and hopes to find a boyfriend that isn't demonic. Hope he's got a jelly bean far, Kel! Ramona is super happy with everything in her life, and guess what - she's NOT pregnant. Again...duh. LuAnn is crazy in love with Jacques and has more money and happiness than anybody else can possibly ever dream of. Ugh.

 

Thank goodness this is ov...what? Reunion?? Oh COME ON!

 

 

Don't miss The Real Housewives of New York City reunion, Monday at 10/9c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)