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The Bachelor 15: Episode 2 Recap

Posted on 01/11/2011 by David in The Bachelor

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The Bachelor 15

 

by David McAlpine

Last night on The Bachelor, the crazy broke out as the competition heated up for Brad's attention and affection. Even though 10 girls fell by the wayside last week, everyone wants a piece of Brad to make sure they have the upper hand in the upcoming eliminations. It may be annoying for Brad, but hey, it's great TV, right?

Right away, you could tell none of the girls were breathing easy post rose ceremony. Yes, they survived the cut, but there were still so many of them! I still can't tell them apart (minus Madison with the crazy fangs)! Bad news bears, so Melissa is freaking out, since she has yet to get one-on-one time with Brad.

Cue the first date card: a 1-on-1 date with Ashley H (who, surprise, looks just like her counterpart, Ashley S). The death glares come from all the girls while Ashley H squeals, knowing she's going for a ride. Brad picks her up in a sports car and takes her into a dark, unknown place. Scary much?

It ended up being an abandoned carnival, which really would have scared me. Old, creaky rides? No one else there? No way. But, with a little bit of wine, Ashley and Brad had a great time. Now that I think about it, give me that wine and I would have had a grand old time, too. The kiss count notches up to one when they have a nice makeout session, then they have a chat.

And boy, did Brad need more wine. Ashley pulls out the dead dad card right away. Really Ashley? You barely know the guy! At least wait a few weeks--you know, when you really need to play your empathy card (see: Emily). Brad relates and you can see that he finally feels like he found someone who understands. Reward: a rose and one very happy Ashley.

Date card two: a 15-on-1 date and more evidence that, yes, the producers of this show are indeed trying to get the women to kill one another. Alli, Melissa, Kimberly, Marissa, Raichel, Britt, Madison, Michelle, Meghan, Emily, Stacey, Chantal, Shawntel, Lisa and Keltie are all headed off in the biggest super date in Bachelor history which, of course, falls on Michelle's 30th birthday. And she's pissed.

Never mind the point of the date (they're making PSAs for to promote donating blood to the American Red Cross), the drama begins right away, thanks to Bachelor producers who give some girls kisses in their scripts and others, well, none. Melissa won't stop acting crazy, Keltie is sad because she's playing a butch, ugly girl and Michelle will do nothing but say that it's her birthday. It's become a funhouse and it's not even the end of episode two.

Off to the rooftop bar and pool, where there's even more drama. For some reason, Melissa will not leave manscaper Raichel alone after Raichel accuses her of "lying by omission." Ouch. Melissa is incredibly aggressive and, honestly, a little scary. Meanwhile, Michelle sneaks off with Brad to remind him, again, that's her birthday.

In the pool, Brad holds the rose (more like clutching, since he sees 15 women staring desperately at the flower in his hands as if their life depended on it), slowly puttering out his words. And the rose goes to…Michelle, the birthday girl! She smiles connivingly and patters for the rose as everyone else looks disappointed.

Final date card: Jackie! Is it bad that I can't remember some of the women's names who are sitting around her, trying to pretend that they're happy for her? Shoot.

Jackie is going to get her own "Pretty Woman" experience, but she doesn't know it. Brad does, though, and he's way too excited for it. After a spa treatment, giving her a dress and diamonds and a private concert by Train at the Hollywood Bowl, Brad finds out that Jackie has only had two boyfriends. Cue scared Brad look (his therapist must have been driven nuts by how skittish he is)--but not to fear, she convinces him to give her a rose, anyway.

At the cocktail party, the first one to grab Brad is Michelle, because she has questions for him: "Do you prefer Starbucks or Coffee Bean?" and "What do you always keep stocked in your fridge?" My question to her: "How much have to you had to drink tonight already?"

Speaking of alcohol, while Michelle is stealing time with Brad, Raichel and Melissa are dragging the entire house into their fight. Words are flying, tears are flowing and everyone is getting brought down by their senseless argument.

Brad comes inside and, separately, finds Melissa and Raichel crying. You can tell he's concerned, but he also wants to get away from both of them because they're clearly insane. All the women can do is watch and laugh, knowing that only three women are getting eliminated tonight, and their chances just got that much better.

As if we didn't have enough drama, Ali and Roberto come back (still waiting on them to get married) to interview all the girls and give Brad their opinion on who should get yet another rose. Melissa and Raichel both cry (again) and I can't stop staring at Ali's horrendous short hair.

The rose ceremony is fast, since it's clear that Melissa and Raichel are out of the running. For the last rose, it's between those two, Keltie and Britt, both of whom I genuinely liked. Britt ended up getting the final rose, sending Keltie home on the crazy train with the other two. Says Keltie: love just isn't in the cards for her. False! Just not television love.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

Follow David: @DavidMcAlpine

For more Bachelor links, visit SirLinksALot.net.


  


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