by Michael J. Lamp

Last night, on Millionaire Matchmaker, it was the season three finale!

The millionaires in question, this evening, are Greg and Zagros. Greg is afraid of commitment and Zagros is a big ol' whore. It's as simple as that. The back story is that Zagros has been on the show before. Too bad he broke Patti's golden rule of no fun without commitment. To be fair, that rule is super lame. In any case, he's a man whore and he's back for more!

The recruiting session is filled with bimbos. No, really. Thankfully, Destin has been saving an epic freak out all season long, to be unleashed come finale time. He fights with the whole team and disagrees on nearly ever girl Patti chooses for the guys. It's a lot of "whatever" and "I don't agree," complete with arms in the air and facial expressions that suggest he pooed in his panties.

There's no mixer. Instead, Patti picks two girls for each guy and lets them chat the ladies up a bit, before having them make a decision as to which girl they'd like to get to know better. Then, if they still find that they don't like this particular woman, they can change their minds one, final time, before going on their master date. Sound confusing? It's not, really. Unnecessary is more like it.

Zagros and Greg both select gals for their 45-minute "get to know you" dates and then stick with those same ladies for the master dates. Zagros goes with Susan, who seems to be totally easy and totally stupid, while Greg opts for Livia, and I ask myself, "Why not Olivia?" Her parents got lazy. It was a pretty boring dinner, and it made me feel badly for the other two women that weren't chosen. At least at a mixer there are a couple dozen equally dissed chicas. Here? Not so much.

The next day, Greg goes to Patti's office, wanting to switch his choice. Wow. He was introduced as a guy afraid of commitment, but damn. This is date numero uno. Patti is pissed, but she agrees to let him go with his new choice, Mojo. Yes, that is her real name. Patti makes Greg call the other girl and cancel for himself, though, which is great.

Greg and Mojo fly to Mammoth to go skiing. Mojo falls on the slopes and Greg bitches about her being a beginner. He then proceeds to ski past her. What a sweet guy! Things get a little better at dinner. Mojo (I can't type her name without laughing) seems to actually like Greg, though she seems very wary of his lack of follow through and commitment to, well, anything. Greg makes jokes about getting his Mojo back - jokes that aren't really that funny. They kiss. The end.

Zagros and Susan go boxing, but making out is more like it. Their trainer seems hella uncomfortable watching the two swap spit in the ring. Zagros finds a way to get even more gross and aggressive at dinner, telling the chef to hold the dessert, because Susan's kisses are too sweet. YUK! There is a whole lot more kissing - and some grabbing - that has me thinking he's going to pork her and get kicked out of the club...again. Apparently this is not what happened, though, and the two save their lust for another time. I personally don't believe it. I think the second those cameras went off, so went their clothes. But that's just me.

Somehow, Zagros and Susan are now in a monogamous relationship. At least we know that means the sex between the two of them went from questionable to definite. There are less finite details with Greg and Mojo, but the pair are (allegedly) still dating.

What drama will next season bring? More hoes and more dollars, no doubt. Only time will tell...

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

Follow Michael at twitter.com/mjlamp

For more Millionaire Matchmaker links, visit SirLinksALot.net