By David McAlpine

After a disappointing loss for KOTU on last week’s Celebrity Apprentice episode, the men seem to have high hopes for this week. At least, until Tom Green stepped through the door, at which point everyone seemed visibly disappointed. Looks like things for KOTU just got worse.

 

On a lighter note, Khloe got to give her check for $20,000 to Richard Shapiro, her father’s friend and co-worker and director of the Brent Shapiro Foundation. They share lunch and a hug, and Khloe reflects on her “publicized” DUI. I love Khloe, but I’d say 9 out of 10 people probably wouldn’t know who she was, let alone that she was arrested for drunk driving.

 

With Joan Rivers mysteriously gone, Donald, Ivanka and George give the teams their next task: selling wedding dresses (cue awkward joke about Trump’s multiple weddings). Each team is given 125 dresses by Arcade Bridal and the team that makes the biggest profit wins. Athena selects Brande to be their Project Manager (because it’s in her “realm,” though I don’t see how Playboy and weddings go together) while KOTU gets Tom as their leader.

 

Tom starts aiming high, setting a goal for his team of $100,000, then tells Clint to call all his country friends. Annie is already on the Celebrity Apprentice fundraising ball, snagging $10,000 from one of her poker friends. The teams arrive at their bridal salons, which happen to be next door to each other.

 

KOTU tosses around branding their sale as a “Bankruptcy sale” or a “Liquidation sale,” but Jesse comes in a saves the day (as always) and gives them the idea to call it a “Red Carpet Sale.” The name sticks, and the men decide to keep it simple and elegant.

 

Melissa invites her friend Preston Bailey, renowned wedding planner (a.k.a. another “celebrity” no one has heard of) to their salon, where he gives the women tips about their bridal store. Tom decides to put on a wedding dress and be the opposite of a leader. Dennis and Herschel just decide to leave and hit up the “streets” (Dennis Rodman for “bars”) to create “buzz” (D-Rod for “vodka cranberries”). Ivanka arrives and wonders aloud what Herschel and Dennis are doing, as is the rest of the audience.

 

Brande also sets a goal of $100,000 and Khloe calls up Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild, anyone?). Things seem to be going smoothly for the women, while Dennis returns to KOTU with a model (though Dennis used more crude language). Then he and Tom leave with her to go drink more. This task really seems to be no contest at this point.

 

Suddenly, Joan is back from a speaking engagement and everything begins to arrive for Athena’s store. On KOTU, Tom and Dennis are completely missing after the night before, so the other men get to work. Tom shows up an hour later, and Dennis decides to skip the day because he had a “problem with his eye.”

 

The task still looks like it’s no contest: the women’s’ store is beautiful and the men’s’ looks void of anything. Both Herschel and Clint are waiting on huge donations, $30,000 and $45,000, respectively, but they wonder if they’ll show up. In the meantime, Brian McKnight turns on the flirt and the men start to get women off the street.

 

The women start to lose their rush as the day wears on, so Joan Rivers decides to steal some of KOTU’s clients. Honestly, who wouldn’t want to go with Joan Rivers in a veil? In a last minute rush, Clint gets his $35,000 and Herschel collects $16,000, while the women get $25,000 from QVC and $10,000 from Annie’s poker pal.

 

In the boardroom, Brande thinks everyone did a good job, but named Melissa and Annie as the stars. Trump asks Tom about using Rodman’s celebrity (since he is known for wearing a wedding dress), but the issue of Dennis’ eyes comes up. Dennis claims he did his job, creating buzz, while Tom’s leadership skills fall under fire.

 

Though both teams sold about the same number of dresses (21 for the men, 22 for the women), the women made $103,000 to the men’s $63,450, crushing them. All the money goes to Brande’s charity, the California Police Youth Charities.

 

Dennis is grilled about his eyes, which look fine today, and Tom is exposed as a terrible leader (not like anyone couldn’t guess that in the first place). At this point, I’m wondering how many of them are actually taking Celebrity Apprentice seriously anymore, since the arguments have come down to petty details. Jesse and Clint suggest firing both Tom and Dennis, but Trump only fires Tom. On his way out, Tom gets on the wrong elevator, making his exit that much more embarrassing (but no more predictable than before).

 

Hey, at least Dennis Rodman is supposed to have a “meltdown” next week.

 

Celebrity Apprentice returns to Sundays at 9/8c next week on NBC.

(Image courtesy of NBC)

 

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